Every month for a normal person is around 30 days long, give or take a few. Except for the last month of pregnancy...that one is about 9, 452 days long. Or so it seems for most pregnant women that I know. They come up on that 37 week mark with much joy, hospital bag or homebirth tub ready to go... and then much to their surprise, four weeks later they are often still pregnant.
Then we comes the tears, the frustration, and trying to make themselves go into labor.
Here is what I find myself saying to that frustrated mom who feels very much overdue:
1. No one ever stays pregnant forever. I promise.
2. Your little one will come on the day that they are supposed to!
3. Meanwhile think up something fun to do each day while you wait. Some women like to make a before the baby comes "bucket list."
4. Come up with a list of chores that need done and do as many as you can before the big day!
You will have this baby soon. Hang in there!
I'm taking clients again! I got booked up and had to turn a few women away, but I'm back! So let me know if you want to meet and chat...maybe I'm the doula for you!
Many women feel that if they choose an epidural, that they don't need a doula. Some even believe that a doula wouldn't want to support them, or would judge them for their choices. These assumptions are simply NOT TRUE. Here are just a couple of reasons to hire a doula, even if you plan to get an epidural.
1. I have peanut balls and I know how to use them. Okay, yes I'm being silly, but that is actually true. I have something called a peanut ball which studies have shown to seriously lower your chances of ending up with a Ceserean after an epidural. Studies have also shown them to shorten labor and pushing.
2. Epidurals don't always go as planned. For some women they go well, others mamas end up throwing up for hours, or with intense head pain. Some still feel the contractions. If you are one of these women (and it's not that uncommon) you are going to wish you had a doula.
3. A doula can help make your birthing day incredible. I make it my goal to help you have the best birth you can possibly have.
4. Breastfeeding. I am a breastfeeding counselor and help you initiate those early feedings
5. Postpartum support. The amount and quality of support you have can make a huge difference in you and baby starting off on the right foot. Good support also lowers the rates of post partum depression.
Also, I do not judge women according to what births they choose or end up with. It is your birth, and I am there to support you. So hire a doula!
I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my fourth child and I wanted a doula. I get it. Don't head back to Facebook and give up on the idea of a doula quite yet. Here are some ways that anyone can have a doula, and a better birth.
1. Trade or barter. Can you give piano lessons? Spanish lessons? Childcare? Do you have a garden or chickens? Find a way to trade services.
2. Are you having a baby shower? Many women these days as they read the studies and realize how much better their births can be with a doula, are asking for funds for a doula as a shower gift. Put up a "money tree" at your shower. It will be worth it in the end. The cute clothes that are worn once will end up in the thrift store one day , but a your birth experience will stay with you forever.
3. Talk to a doula! Many have flexible fees, and many take credit cards. I personally not only flex my fees sometimes, I do payment plans. Do you want to split it into 4 payments? That may work.
4. Insurance, yes, you read right. More and more insurance companies are covering doulas. Check into it!
Please, if you came to my site and want a doula, but just can't imagine having the money to do so. Talk to me. We can probably figure something out.
I ended up talking to 3 different pregnant women while running around town with my kids today. Naturally the subject of having a doula came up. All three were in different situations and all three could benefit from having a doula at her upcoming birth. Here is a list of six kinds of women who really should consider hiring a doula:
1. The first time mom. No matter how much you read and how amazing your partner might be, your experience would be much better with a doula. Having someone who has seen birth many times and can help relieve pain and reassure you that you are doing great and that it is all normal is so important!
2. The mom who had a hard birth and is pregnant again. A hard birth can really affect a woman as she looks ahead to another baby. A doula can help you process your birth and avoid the things you do not want to happen to you again.
3. The woman with the most supportive and incredible partner ever. I was that woman, and with my 4th child I had a doula. That birth was less stressful for my husband and less stressful for me during and afterwards. It was SO WORTH IT.
4. The VBAC mom. Studies have shown that women who desire a vaginal birth after Cesarean are more likely to be successful with the help of a doula.
5. The woman with no support - Every woman deserves to be loved on and cared for during her birth.
6. The Cesarean mom - All of you who have had cesarean are every bit as strong and brave and amazing as women who have had vaginal births! A doula can be there to support you before and after and during a C section. She can help to make your day even more amazing.
If anyone can think of other situations where a doula would be helpful, please leave a comment below!